Okay so here we go, the part of the blog where I explain why I haven't updated in a while.
This time I was literally just putting it off. Writing about all that happened meant I had to face the fact that my year was ending, and I didn't want that. To be honest, I still don't want it to end. Which is kind of inconvenient, seeing as I'm leaving Richmond in literally 9 hours.
(Warning: prepare for Emotions. Yes, capital E, Emotions)
Even though I knew since the beginning I was going to leave, it still feels unreal. Goodbye's don't feel like goodbye's. It feels as if tomorrow I'll get a text from Claire or Ellie asking if I wanna go to the pool, or just play Mario Kart at their house.
There was going to be a whole paragraph here trying to explain how I feel, which took me about half an hour to write. When I was reading it back, I realized you can summarize it into just a few words: I want to leave, but I don't. That's probably the best explanation I can give.
Recently I realized that I kinda can't really think about leaving. Trying to imagine what the next two months are going to be like is like imagining what aliens look like. I can come up with something, but there are just too many unknown factors. Only, when imagining what aliens look like you're not overcome with emotions (that's just me of course, I don't know about anyone else). So, I've just decided to not think about it. I'm only going to think about it as in: I need to pack my things, I need to check-in, I need to weigh my bags, I need to leave Sam a bag of chocolate chips in the drawer of my closet; that kinda thing.
About the packing, I spent all day doing it. Again, I just had been putting it off because it meant leaving, and those feelings are too complicated. So, now I have 4 bags: 2 for the main cabin (1 of 50 pounds, 1 of 45 pounds), my carry-on (mostly filled with shoeboxes, which are filled with mugs and socks). and my 'personal item' aka backpack (filled with laptop, coloring book & markers, puzzling book, camera etc etc). It's a lot of stuff. Luckily I managed to get most of the stuff that was in my room.
This is probably the part where I write the paragraph about my year. I actually wrote this yesterday (at 2 am) because I couldn't sleep. I let my mind wander, and I just had to write so all the emotions could go somewhere. I don't think I'll get much sleep tonight either.
I’m going to miss Richmond the most I’ve ever missed anything. When I leave it will have been exactly eleven months since I landed in Richmond, with only a few hours’ difference. Those eleven months have gone by way too fast, but they’ve been filled with great opportunities and experiences, and through all of it I’ve been supported by great, beautiful, loving people. I got a new house, with 6 new pets, a little brother, a dad and a mom: a new family. It might sound crazy to anyone who isn’t an exchange student, but I consider these people as much my family as my biological one. And I will miss them as such. Of course, I also have to mention my amazing friends. They are the funniest, craziest, most supportive, gossipy and talented group of people I’ve ever met, and I feel honored to know them. It feels like I’ve known them since I was born.
Of course the most precious things I have, are all the memories. I’ve tried to hold on to as many of them as possible, but my memory is horrible so that’s not working. Luckily there are plenty of pictures and stories, and I'm sure I'll never forget it.
p.s: I might (no more promises, it's not working out for me so far XD) write blogs about being an ambassador at camp. From what I've heard, ambassadors get like 0 hours of sleep, so I don't know if I'll have time to write blogs about it
pp.s: collecting mugs is really fun, until you start travelling internationally and want to get a mug from everywhere. i have too many mugs. they're gonna need their own display case or something. so, if you wanna start collecting mugs, don't go crazy like i did. you will end up with a carry-on bag filled with 8 mugs (and like 6 pairs of socks) so if any break it's your own fault